Archive for the ‘Healthy Relationships’ Category

Running, Inspiring Stories, & Gratitude

Monday, November 10th, 2008

A couple of nights ago, my running group had the end-of-the-season’s get together. End-of-the-season doesn’t mean we stop running or stop getting together. For a few weeks, we’ll suspend formal practice. But soon, we’ll be back out there together to begin our winter running groups. We’re all still running and training for something.

Our gathering was a time for people to share their success stories with the group and acknowledge those who helped them reach their goals.

  • Amber shared with us her accomplishments and how she got through the rough patches and crossed the finish line of her marathon with the help of her new friend Chele.
  • Joyce shared with us how she reached her goals in events she’d never done before.
  • Paul shared funny stories of  going the “extra mile” and expressed gratitude to his running partners and coaches.
  • Machelle shared her personal story of weight loss and getting on the path to health and wellness.
  • Sue shared with us her personal story of how Donna, her running partner, literally saved her life.

This is just a sampling of the stories we shared. Everyone has a story. Every race has a story. And, people (especially runners and walkers) love to get together to tell their stories.

Six months ago, I knew only a handful of people in Boise. I had lunch with Steve, the “head” of a local running/walking group and offered to help coach. He didn’t know me at all, but he decided to take a chance on me and allowed me to join his other coaches in a successful program known for its dedicated, knowledgeable coaches.

Runners are welcoming folks. At our end-of-the-season gathering, I looked around at all my new friends - just since I had joined the group 6 months ago - and I was filled with gratitude.

I’m looking forward to getting back on the path with them very soon…and hearing more of their stories.

Running Partners - What Really Forms the Bonds?

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008

Throughout my running life, I’ve had the good fortune to run (and walk) with so many different people. There have been days when I was the one who had to do all the talking so that the others could focus on breathing. Other times, I was the one who needed to concentrate on breathing.

Over the past 13 years, running has brought me so many great friends - I can’t even begin to name them all. Some of us have moved to different places, but the friendships that we forged have withstood the distance. One thing is certain: We meet as strangers, but we become friends as we run and walk together.

I treasure my running partners - there is a mutual sharing of who we really are as we’re out there on the road together.  No cell phones. No emails to check. No distractions. No pretenses. No judgment. Just time spent with a friend on the road. What could be better?

So, what is it that bonds people together as they run or walk long miles?  Is it common interests? Common goals? Common challenges? Common pain?

If you have made good friends through your running or walking, I’m sure you understand this concept. I’d love to hear your thoughts and/or stories.

Running & Friendship

Monday, August 11th, 2008

Last night I read an article called “Chasing Happiness Together: Running and Aristotle’s Philosophy of Friendship.” It’s been a long long time since I read Aristotle’s Nichomachean Ethics, and I should probably revisit it. According to Aristotle, everything we do, we do in pursuit of our ultimate goal - Happiness. And, “friendship” is a critical component of living a virtuous life and ultimately being truly happy.

Aristotle says that developing a friendship based on virtue requires time, familiarity, trust, mutual good will and mutual sacrifice. Running provides a perfect setting for developing friendships. (more…)

No Ordinary Moments - A Wonderful Way to Start Your Day

Sunday, June 8th, 2008

In a previous post entitled “Be Here Now,” I told you about a card that picked me when I was in a bookstore in Sun Valley, Idaho. The card read, “This is a new day, one that I have never lived before. I stay in the Now and enjoy each and every moment.”

When you focus on something, you will be amazed at the things that “come” to you in the way of connections. A simple example: If you’re thinking of getting a golden retriever, you will begin to see them all over the place. You didn’t really notice before how many different colors of golden retrievers there are, but now that you’re focused on it, you notice them everywhere.

I’ve been working on “being in the moment” more - and believe me, it takes practice. Right now is all we have - the past is gone, and the future is not here yet, so we don’t have either of those.

I’m not sure if Dan Millman came up with the phrase “No ordinary moments,” but it is with him that I associate that expression. When we are focused on right now, we see things we would otherwise miss if we are thinking about the past or the future.

As one way to be “in the moment,” I have taken a lesson from Fremont, my 90-lb golden retriever. (more…)

Running Long and Remembering Where You Came From

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

I guess when you’ve been running long distances for awhile, it seems like no big deal to run 12-20 miles every Sunday. But to the average person, it probably seems a little crazy.

In late spring, I joined the coaching team for a local Run/Walk group. This group trains everyone - runners and walkers - in distances ranging from the 5K to the marathon. Needless to say, we have a wonderfully diverse group. And, because I do my long runs on Sunday, I am training the shorter distance athletes, mainly the 10K people, so that I can run with them for the shorter distances on Saturday and do my runs on Sunday.

As I work with the enthusiastic, dedicated folks - many of whom have never run a race before - I’m reminded of my early days of racing and training. (more…)

Listening is Not the Same as Hearing

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

Listening and hearing are two totally different things. I’m sure someone has told you, “You’re not listening…I said…” We have all had that exact conversation. Chances are, you probably were listening. But chances are, you weren’t hearing.

There are so many reasons why we don’t hear what others are telling us:

  • We’re too preoccupied with what we’re going to say back
  • We’re preoccupied with something else on our minds
  • We’re not that interested in what the other person has to say
  • We’re physically doing something else while the other person is talking

And the list goes on. Basically, we’re just not paying attention because we’re too focused on ourselves. We do live in a “me” culture in which people are not practiced in focusing on what the other person has to say.

I challenge you to focus on others - practice hearing what others have to say - just for one day to start with. Resist the urge to reply with something like, “Yes, well when I…”  Ask more questions, show interest, give your undivided attention. You will learn some interesting things about both others and yourself.

A Different Kind of Relationship

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

When most of us think of “relationships,” we think of our connections with other people. And, clearly, those human relationships are some of the most important relationships we have. We also have relationships with nature or with a higher source.

And, for those of us who have pets, we have relationships with our dogs and cats. We understand that the connection we have with our animals fills a space in our lives that is often hard to explain to people who don’t have pets.

I have a golden retriever named Fremont. We have raised him from a puppy, and he has brought both joy and frustration into our lives (not that much different than our human children have). Recently, I was reading a book about goldens, and although I thought the writer was talking about Fremont, he could have also been talking about any of our animals that we love.

He said that the golden is a beautiful, wonderful dog with a face that seems to smile and who gets along with both cats and other dogs. He naturally bonds with adults and children and has a huge heart that he readily shares with anyone willing to accept it. He is generous, outgoing, affectionate and loyal. But the most golden part of the golden retriever is his heart.

Wouldn’t it be nice if someone could describe us like that?